• So nice to have ones suspicions confirmed by a quality broadsheet. Fully expect The Times to declare you 'quite amusing' next week.

  • Ah yes, extraordinarily hot. I look forward to swooning at a Dancing on Ice costume richly decorated with sequins and szechuan peppercorns 😉

  • Damo – I will you know, and the jungle one..you wait n see if I dont

    Rosalind – Oh only my wife, friends and anyone who's ever met me

    JAS – I take that as some consolation

    Dawn – I think the Star has be down as 'fundamentally tedious' for Thursday's edition

    Naomi – I fear my mum must've put you up to this as the sight of me in any kind of snug fitting dancing trouser is quite sufficient to put anyone off their pick n mix of a Saturday night

    Patsy – Thak you for your advice, and very pleased you enjoy the blog. I do know someone who's skilled in the Alexander arts but he's a bit of a pillock….so I guess all I have to do now is find out where the boundary is between disabled arm and putting yourself in the hands of a pillock. I shall report back

  • You could resurrect the old hairdo for Dancing on Ice. I have pictures. But please don't write for Murdoch.

  • The Alexander technique might well be the answer…as far as I'm aware it simple involves a lot of pointing and waving of arms directing elves. You'll never have to weild a pair of secateurs again.

  • As someone who only had their copy of 'A Taste of the Unexpected' drop through the door yesterday I now see I'm a tad late to the Otter Farm party… Good to see The Telegraph paying attention too!

    Oh, and the book looks amazing! 🙂

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