Glueing

I can’t think of many words with five vowels in a row in them. One, actually: queueing. I can only think of one with four: obsequious. Later, I use one with three in. These are real words. I believe ‘Carnals’ not to be. Interestingly, or otherwise, I believe United Arab Emirates to be the country with the longest name that has alternating vowels and consonants.

At the end of each long day of the Malvern Spring Show the other weekend, I had the misfortune to play Scrabble with James Alexander-Sinclair. He had the nous to use an old Scrabble tactic favoured by the dim: play a made up word quickly (eg ‘carnals’), which if rejected is followed by 15 minutes of umming and ahhing over the next word. It only takes a couple of tries before the opponent allows any word in the hope of acquiring some sleep. He ‘won’ two nights in a row.

As anyone who has played me at Scrabble will attest, this is factually impossible without the aid of chloroform or other means of narcoleptic encouragement. The last night, I denied him his made up words and waltzed across the finish line over a hundred ahead, putting him to the sword with a well placed and topical ‘topiary’ where the ‘y’ lengthened another word. I believe this thrashing to be an accurate reflection of our respective intellects.

The show was much fun, as ever, and talking of words, James and I managed to get a large marquee of people singing ‘tagetes’ to the tune of Tragedy. There were other plant based music puns too abysmal for a discerning blog audience. The lifeboat in this sea of shame is that at least it wasn’t entirely our idea so to do.

Influenza is a fine word. One fine day I shall add the IN and the NZA either side of my opponents FLUE (as it were) and span TWO triple word score squares. It is less fun to be struck down by it as I was a couple of weeks ago. No cold, only mild sniffles, but with a knock-you-sideways-and-take-you-to-your-bed punch. It’s been 20 years since I had it, so complain I won’t.

I lay in bed sipping numerous honey and lemons. I’m not very good at doing nothing. I tried to work but my brain was an ‘in only’ valve. I watched films on Youtube, mostly of food forests around the world. Amongst all the fascinating permaculture projects in Australia and the USA, I came across Ron Finley doing some fine things in LA.

His project reminded me of the Edible Bus Stop in SW9 (see pics above), where Clapham and Stockwell say hello to each other. I visited it last summer. So much happiness from something so simple.

I felt better after a few days. I stayed indoors for a few more as it was, as it has mostly been since before Christmas, as cold as an almond Magnum. The sun eventually came out. With food forests and the like in my head, I spent half a day weeding in the perennial garden. It was all it took.

A few weeks later and it is giving me pleasure. It’s the end of May though it is the end of April as far as the temperatures go – once a week the cold northerlies and scant hours of sunshine mean sun cream and gloves, the rest of the time it’s largely cloudy and dull.

The perennial garden seems to be glueing together. A forest garden, or anything based on its ideas, takes a while to grow into itself. If you do it properly, it looks crap for a few years. You must plant everything as if it is fully grown. If you don’t, plants crowd each other, competing for light, denying those beneath what they need to establish. It is the most common mistake when planting something like this. Be bold, cast vanity to one side and trust that it will come together.

Here’s a quick peek of the perennial garden, filmed in a rush. And yes, I know there’s something flapping about in one corner for 30 seconds – I did say I was in a rush.

Why a perennial garden? Because in being close to the structure of a natural woodland it is an ecosystem that wants to be like it is, hence it doesn’t take much energy to maintain, and hence the average veg patch can be quite labour intensive. Because perennials are more resilient to duff seasons like this one – they’re not trying to germinate and grow, they’re just throwing up new growth from an established engine room be it above or below ground. Because you don’t have to sow seeds every year as you do with annuals. Because many perennials produce in the supposed hungry gap. Because it took me half a day to weed, and it’ll take only another half day later in the year. And because you may think a chocolate vine is more beautiful than an onion.