Heavy roof

I had meant to blog about the rather pleasant things I’ve been eating over the last week or so. Look: kiwis.

And before the disbelievers among you start up, here are a few still attached to the leafless plants…

You pick them late to let them ripen fully – so late that it seems highly unseasonal to be eating them. They are very very fine indeed – you don’t actually have to peel these from the smaller hardy kiwis. I even made a fool of them/myself, which was (as they say down the local) lush. The recipe – if it can be called that – 400g kiwis, peeled, zapped with a little sugar, folded into whisked cream (a pot) and some yoghurt (maybe half as much as the cream). Plus some crumble on the top if you can be arsed.

I’ve some oranges to pick. I got the plant at the end of the Malvern Show in September and the lady said it was a Navelina but it looks too plump-teardrop in shape to be one of those if you ask me.

And some walnuts and sweet chestnuts to carp on about…but it’s all been overtaken by the snow and the run in to Christmas.

It’s a little early, there are almost two weeks left after all, but as Christmas runs up I’ve usually got more than half an eye on the next year. I love Christmas but I love January 1st even more. I want to be by the sea, eat too much and have a couple of lunchtime ales. New Year windscreen wipes the previous year with me – I get very positive and energised by it but only if I give myself some time to look back over the past year and make a few plans for the next in December, so the snow’s helped by stopping me getting to a few meetings I would otherwise have been driving to.

I’ve spent much of this year writing. Almost two books, monthly pieces for English Garden and others in the Observer, the Guardian and the Mail on Sunday among others. I’ve certainly spent more time writing than doing this year, even with running courses and events at River Cottage and leading the garden team there. Plus doing whatever on the 17 acres here.

I love writing but the balance has been a little out. I need more time outside. Luckily I had Trent here taking the strain when I couldn’t get outside enough but he’s gone and tedious though that is, it allows me to do what needs doing early in the year at least, while I figure out which of 2011s possibilities will happen and how much time I need someone else here for. After then I’ll probably be panicking about having no book on the go, such is the way it goes.

So next year’s possibilities include some, all or fewer of…more time outside, writing a book (if I’m not offered one I’ll write one anyway), putting the flesh on the bones of the edible garden, maybe creating a wildflower meadow (a couple of people have offered seed and expertise), a plant nursery, a seed collection, courses here, another acre of vines for a dessert wine, creating a few edible gardens for other people. Did I mention world domination?

Talking of world domination, I’ve always fancied running a cult….I mean communes are ok and all but all that joint decision making….and what’s not to like about being the boss and having many wives? And when I say ‘wives’ I think you may appreciate that marriage vows may not be top of the priority list. I wouldn’t want to go down the Jimmy Jones road – there’s no place for mass suicide in a civilised world, right kids – and I wouldn’t want to bring down the government or kill lots of celebrities…just a nice friendly cult where I was boss. Do sign up below if you’re interested. Where was I…

I also have a slightly different plan for 2011 that will certainly happen: to do right by what’s already here. And spending more time outside is a big part of that. I wasn’t expecting the first chance of doing that to be today, but the snow’s been impressive and the polytunnels looked in danger of collapsing under the weight of it, as Phonecam shows…

So I’m hoping for no more snow for a few days, partly because I know that now it’s almost Christmas I won’t want to go down and sort the mess out when the roof falls in – I’ve got mince pies to eat and fires to sit in front of. And I hope you do too.

Happy Christmas*

I was mostly listening to this, this, and this at the same time as writing.

* I know this gives the impression of the last post before Christmas (and it probably will be) but I may post again if something pops into my rather tired brain

  • You do realise that all cult wives and general followers would have to move in with you, don't you. It's going to get awfully crowded by the fire. Unless, of course, it's the polytunnel cult.

  • I know just what you mean about New Year's Day. I'm always itching to tear down the christmas decorations and get back to work. Tragic, innit? Perhaps this is why I havent put any up yet, keep it short n sweet.
    Just noticed the other day that one of my son's SCHOOL books is set in a town called Jamestown. Or at least it has a 'Jamestown Hotel'. Bit unnecessary, that.

  • never got past the twining stage with the kiwi, – will vow to try again next year, as yours look rather good. You don't sound that worried about all the plants under the snow, are you expecting large losses?

  • There is a great deal of heavy breathing on your video that one could be forgiven for thinking that you were trouserless while taking us round the farm. Mind you, in those temperatures, there would not have been much to see.

    Could you please take your place in the queue for world domination? I was there first. I get first pick of the 'wives'.

  • 1 min 30 secs in & "It's time for a coffee".

    Hard working bunch them Devon boys.

    Dare say if it had gone on for another couple of minutes it would have been lunchtime.

  • If you're looking for a harem-style cult leadership, I fear you may have to upgrade your accomodation. "wifelets" might have a constant headache if you propose putting them in those polytunnels.

    Happy Christmas sir!

    x

  • Thursday – I think I'll need a bigger fire…maybe IN the polytunnel…would kill a few birds with one stone….

    LL – it is tragic but nice not to have that hideous 'back to it' feeling most people get

    Claire – these are the hardy kiwis with smaller fruit that regular ones – they all need plenty of pruning to get fruit and the regular ones need male/female pairing for polination. And they an take a while. Got one of my hardy ones from Marshalls

    James – the shortness of breath was entirely due to both of my testicles being somewhere up around my wind pipe due to the cold…and you may be next in the queue for picking wives but it is MY cult don't forget…

    Stu – you are very welcome, although you'll forgive me if I observe that your wife credentials are limited…perhaps you'd like to collect wood for the cult, and maybe take care of the fire?

    Simon – I had been out there for more than two hours shifting snow…BEFORE yes BEFORE the first coffee of the day…how can that happen in a civilised society?

    Dawn – perhaps the most highly favoured few could take the warm spot by the compost heat – all that decomposition kicks out some heat you know *considerate face*

    CG – you are most welcome, and happy christmas x

  • Help I'm not a wife – does that I mean I don't count? Just re-read the Tales of the City saga in which it wasn't Jim Jones but a doppelganger who died: uh oh

  • Jo – You can always apply to be a wife. Was that the Armistead Maupin thingy? An ex was v into that…and I didn't kill her…so you're safe, see.

  • Yes it was AM – all very jolly in San Francisco. Hadn't picked it up for 20 years, but the whole snow thing gave an excuse to curl up and go through the whole lot.I have an image of you standing with arms outstretched in manner of newly-ordained priest, wearing an Angel Clare-type smock and blessing people's kiwi fruit. talking of which, I've been a bit funny about them since somebody pointed out that they look similar to donkey's testicles x

  • This is all a bit prosaic, but I have discovered that after you've done the sides of the polytunnel you need to tap the inside quite sharply (but gently at the same time) starting at the very edge of the big top patch of snow. It only seems to clear if you do it in small bits, then work back up towards the ridge. My pt cover is dated 1996 (quite possibly the oldest cover in Devon!) so I can't do anything too rough with it, but using the handle end of an ordinary garden spade or fork (ie the straight bar-type handle) was the best implement. Hope that's some help, from your Anorak friend in Black Dog!

  • Seeing a collection of Kiwis in those grubby palms was a joy! Hope then for my 2 year old self-fertile 'Jenny' cultivar, planted 2 years ago now. Vigorous vine activity, furry animal foliage but as yet none of those wonderfully wierd fruits. Still, its a great reminder of the bizarre and prehistoric plants from NZ trips and keeps me optimistic in these dark winter days.
    Bit of a leap from vines to gardening cults however? It's amazing how snow-induced cabin fever can make the active mind wander….

  • I hope that you have a chance to catch your breath over Christmas and that you are nibbling mince pies or kiwi fool rather than propping up collapsing polytunnels.

  • Shame you can't apply some of that award winning photography skill you your video work. Holding the phone portrait instead of landscape I ask you! A school boy error and no mistake.

    Hope the tunnels hold put tho. Maybe a "hot air" party would be in order?

  • Jo – I am unfamiliar with donkey's testicles and intend to remain so

    PG – Luckily the polytunnels didnt collapse…but I think my New Year (in terms of resolutions kicking in) will have to begin this weekend, when I predict the mince pies and other treats will come to a natural end.

    Jane – Thank you for your kind advice…I'd love to know ehther the polytunnel I put up in Black Dog in 2002 is still there…any chance of peeking over the hedge if you're walking down that way?!

    Chris – I have great sympathy with your kiwi-less plight….I've got some of the big boys (ie not the hardy, smaller fruited version) growing in the polytunnel and as yet only a few flowers. You'll be pleased to learn that my plans for a cult have been put on hold while I sort of the nursery/shop…

    Anna – Sadly rather a few too many mince pies..

    Simon – You are possibly assuming that I did anything other than press the phone to take a picture and find I'd accidentally switched to video mode and decide to do that instead…

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