Orange

The present’s orange. Or at least turning that way. Give it a week.

I think it was Billy Bob Thornton who ate only orange food for a while. I might have unwittingly made that up but I think not. I’m not going to check in case it’s not true. I like the idea of eating only one colour of food. I bagsee brown. That gets me meat and chocolate. I win.

Still, orange isn’t bad. Lucozade was (is?) orange. And that’s almost worth being ill for. This is probably the finest thing anyone’s ever done while wearing orange. Or maybe it’s this.

I had a gentle late afternoon jolt today – I realised I had only a few minutes to get outside with the dog before the sun went. I’ve been too busy for a while, so it’s a bit of a treat when it happens. And to take the camera when there’s nothing I’m hoping to shoot.

Half an hour as the sun vanished. In a day or two this pear’s leaves will be gone and I’d have missed it. Busy is bollocks.

The peppers seem to know whether they’ve been picked or not. If they have, they’re yellow-green

…if we’ve picked some, they’re pretty orange…

…if we’ve yet to pick, they’re pretty much green. The clever buggers.

It’s been pretty mild, but boy has it rained. Dry autumn, however cold, is for Nick Drake, rainy autumn is Paul Simon or Townes Van Zandt territory.

And crumbles. It’s time for hot puds. The quince are in, the medlars are waiting a frost or two, but there will be plenty of them.

The squash are all picked too.

Squash is a bit whatsit. The Clash of the allotment, the Tom Hanks of the garden – perfectly serviceable once in a while, occasionally exceptional, largely overrated. We have to pretend to like it because everyone else does and they’ll tell you off if you break rank.

If you are thinking of growing them, allow me to recommend Queensland Blue (or Crown Prince if you can find seed), Uchi Kuri and Cornell’s Bush Delicata (above). They are equally, differently delicious.

The problem with squash is it can be too sweet. It necessarily renders it inferior to celeriac and the others with a not-dissimilar flesh. It needs anchoring with earthiness and heat – chilli, rosemary and garlic do this manfully – or taking the whole way and pretending it’s really a big orange apple.

Because I am kind and nice and good I have done the decent thing and turned this culinary rugby ball into a pud, and a very good one it is too. As you know, I am perfectly open about the awfulnesses that are created in this kitchen in the name of experimentation (I will make a rhubarb and lentil curry one day that will be fit for more than grouting), so I am allowed a little occasional crowing.

I haven’t thought of a snappy name for it yet – with its sweet fudginess it’s almost a cheesecake, but Squash Almost-cheesecake isn’t a grown up recipe name. You can make it even more of a cheesecake by putting a biscuit base of crushed ginger nuts (200g crushed biscuits mixed with 100g melted butter) beneath it if you fancy, though it’s perfectly delicious without. It’s very good cold too.

1.2kg squash – 700-800g peeled and deseeded
150g caster sugar
3 tbsp honey
120g ground almonds
2 eggs, lightly beaten
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
60g almonds
30g light brown sugar

Preheat the oven to 190°C.

Peel, deseed and remove all the fibres from the squash. Chop into slices 1-2cm wide. Place in a wide pan with 300ml water and bring up to the boil. Reduce the heat to an idle simmer, cover and cook for 15 minutes or so. It may take a little longer to half steam, half boil the squash depending on the variety.

Drain thoroughly and mash until smooth. Return the puree to the pan and stir for a few minutes to drive off any water that remains. Stir in the caster sugar and honey and cook for a couple of minutes. Remove from the heat.

Stir the eggs, ground almonds and spices into the squash puree. Spoon into a small baking dish (20cm x 15cm or so), and smooth the top with a palette knife. Blitz the almonds and the light brown sugar together to a crumble in a blender, sprinkle over the top of the squash and bake for 45 minutes or so – it should be very lightly golden.

Allow to cool a little before serving – I like it with cream, but then I’d eat my shoe if it was covered in cream.

  • If only the crowing was only occasional – we would all be much happier.
    It looks a bit fungal to me but then I know very little about such things.
    Probably tastes good though as you have a very annoying habit of being quite good at such things.
    Sometimes.

  • The sheer joy all round for the MVB goal warms the cockles.

    Those peppers are eerily intelligent. Don’t walk alone amongst them. Great pics.

    How about Hearty Squalmo? I require no credit.

    • I was watching that game at a friend’s parents house and we both stood up and shouted ‘fuck me’ at the telly….we were excused on account if the goal’s majesty. Hearty Squalmo….hmmm…needs a little work

  • The Turks Turbans (3 down 1 across & 3 down 4 across) -are totally in edible aren’t they ? They’ve only been Included for their ‘exotic’ looks. If not, over the years, I’ve unknowingly thrown away a (food) mountain of good stuff

Comments are closed.